♥ AngelicMadness ♥

Just for all to know..the cupcake courier is the best thing in the world! I hope that I can afford to get one soon!!! No, seriously! If you know of anyone that has one of these that wants to give it up, send them my way!

That is right! I am not officially a mini-van driving, capri wearing, no time for make-up momma! I should get a trophy…no wait, my husband (a.k.a. The greatest thing to happen to me) should get a trophy! My husband bought the family a Nissan Quest…the greatest van in the world! The reason he should be rewarded is because he has to drive it too! Lets go ahead and admit that 99% of mini-vans are drove by women…well make that 95%. I have wanted one of these for a while, at least since our daughter was born! I never imagined any man loving me so much as to buy me a mini-van, especially this man, who’s biggest fear is becoming old! Now I just wish I had my oldest in soccer or baseball or something! LOL! Just kidding…that can wait! I am the biggest dork on the face of the earth! And, as long as my husband and kids love me, I am okay with that.

About this same time a year ago I lost my grandmother. She was more like a mother to me. My parents never seemed to understand me, but she did. She always watched out for me, and made up for the times that my parents did not treat me right. When my brother was born, it was almost like my parents forgot about me, but she made sure I felt loved. I was never sure what I would do, or how I would go on living if I lost her. I am thankful that I have my husband and my children or I am not sure if I could have kept on going. She died of cancer. She had battled breast cancer years back and won. This round of cancer started in her stomach and spread like a wildfire to her uterus, liver..and so on. She went through a major surgery to remove it, but they simply said that they could not get it all, it was simply too late. They gave her 3 months to live. She died 6 weeks later. I thought she was getting better about 4 weeks after the surgery. My son and I went to “watch” her while her children went to discuss pretty much ‘what to do with her’. She was up and walking, demanding me to get her some beans, lol! She was eating good…talking like she was doing good. That was the last time I saw her. I don’t even remember saying goodbye. My son had drove me nuts running around my aunts house, where she was staying. My grandmother was asleep when they came back so we left. I just though she would be fine, and I would see her later. I was so busy with school at the time, and work, and my son. My mother did call me about a week before my grandmother passed. She had called to tell me that she had pretty much lost her mind, that she could not remember who my mother was. My mother said she was talking to the ceiling, and that she would hold her hands up like she was hanging up laundry outside. I think I was in denial, I did not want to see her like that, I just thought I would just wait and go see her when he got better. A week later at around 6am my phone rang. I knew what was wrong. I answered to my dad telling me that Memaw had died. I got dressed and got in the car to drive 20 min to my aunts house where she was. I cried and screamed the whole way, I am not sure how I made it there by myself. I could barely see the road for the tears clouding my eyes. As I pulled into the driveway, I told myself to suck it up because my mom and dad were standing in the doorway. Memaw had been staying in the room to the right as soon as you walked in. I walked in and lost it. That was by far the worst day of my life. She was laying there like she had been the night I left without saying goodbye. All snuggled up in her blanket. I wonder if she thought about me before she died. I wonder if she thought I did not love her because I had not shown up to visit with her. I will never know what happened or what she was thinking about, but I hope that she knows that I love her and I am sorry.

Today I got my new camera in the mail! Yippee! I am so excited! I have had the same Samsung 2mp camera for almost 4 years. I am so out of date! I got a sweet deal on Ebay. I found a 6mp Polaroid camera, brand new, for 49.99! These sell for 149.99 on target.com. It is awesome! I absolutely love it! Hopefully now I can start taking some killer pics! I am so old school, I am so proud of this camera!

My babies are growing up faster than I ever imagined, which makes me incredibly sad! My little guy, Gavin, is about to celebrate his 4th birthday in a month or so. My daughter, Laura, is growing up 10 times faster. It feels like yesterday that Eric was bringing Laura and I home from the hospital. I always knew that I wanted children, but I never knew how much I would love them. My kids are beautiful, wild little beings! They stress me out to the max, but they also make me the happiest I have ever been. I am just so blessed to have them in my life. I just wish that life wasn’t so busy, that they would just stay small a little longer…I blink and they are already so much older.

Maybe I am just getting older. Maybe I am just a mom of two. I am not sure what it is, but I am so scared of storms now. About a year and a half ago we had some pretty bad storms come through a few weeks after I lost my grandmother. My mother and I were down at her house cleaning it out so they could sell it. We were there with no television so we had no idea what was headed our way. We were taking some things out to the dumpster and noticed the dark gray clouds rolling up. We went inside and called my father, but he had not heard of any bad weather. Twenty minutes later the phone rings and my father is telling us that there are tornadoes popping up everywhere and we need to go next door and watch the television at the neighbors house. Then sirens started going off down the street. Come to find out we had one tornado pop up within 5 miles of us. I was only 20 minutes away from my husband and son, but that was too far! I was so upset that I could not drive to be with them, the whole time I was freaking out. The news broadcaster then notified us that there was a strong tornado heading into the area that my son and husband were in, I could feel my heart almost drop out of my chest. I felt so helpless. I kept trying to call my husband, but the phone lines were so jammed packed that I could not get through. I finally got in touch with him and they were fine. It took me 2 hours to get home due to the traffic that the damage from the storms had caused. I just get freaked out now every time I hear thunder. I just feel as if it is my duty to protect my kids, and I feel helpless when it comes to mother nature.

So today I am sitting down, logging into Ebay (as always) and taking a bite of pizza when I hear sirens like crazy, many of them. I look outside to see three fire trucks and about four police cars racing into my apartment complex. Okay, not to panic, I am sure that someone had a minor accident, and everything is perfectly fine..right? But, then I think…why the hell would that many fire trucks pull up for one person. Okay..I get a little nervous and run to the bedroom window (best place to look out without being noticed) and I see that they stop right in front of my apartment! Now I am a little freaked out. Then, I see too women sitting outside with there heads down ….like something terrible had happened. I see that the firemen are pulling the water hoses into the apartment that shares a wall with mine. Now I am totally freaked out, and there is no turning back. Of course I grab my kids and grab the phone and start calling. First, I called my poor husband and get him all worried. Then I call my mother, but no answer. More police pull up. This is serious! I go out to the porch (being the nosey neighbor) and look around. This goes on for 40 min or so…then they all leave. What happened? I live next door! I have two babies in this apartment! I ended up calling the office just for them to tell me that the stupid BITCH caught her stove on fire! That is NOT a responsible person! For god’s sake lady, you live in an apartment! You could have killed people! What a freakin idiot! So, I pretty much got worked up over nothing, I just thought the whole damn place was going to burn down! Time to get renter’s insurance! (That is right folks, we don’t have any!) Actually, it is time to get a damn house, and get out of these stupid cramped apartments!

Our baby is 2 months old! That is 60 days that she has been with us! We have had some hard days and nights due to her stomach sensitivity. Her doctor had to put her on Similac Alimentium. This stuff cost around 25 dollars a can. A can makes roughly about 19 bottles or so, which doesn’t last long for her! She is a pig! It seems to be doing the trick though….but hell, for 25 dollars I would hope so! She should be pooping out gold!

If you have ever dealt with buying something on craigslist (free classifieds via internet) you will know what I mean when I say that it is a big pain in the ass! Every time I found something that I wanted or needed I would get all excited and email the person or call them….just to find out it had already been sold. Hey assholes! TAKE YOUR LISTING DOWN THEN!

On the way out of the store today, I saw these lovely teeth in one of those little machines that you put a few quarters in, I had to purchase them, too funny! Thank you K-Mart.